A lot like this except you'll be typing, most likely in your underwear.
Write for usIt's not exactly easy to create content every day for random people who are looking for a time-waster. Some people are looking for the news, some for sports, others for girls wearing hardly any clothes; it becomes cumbersome and sometimes we need help. So now we're opening our doors to anybody who thinks they might have some writing skills or some jokes to entertain the masses. There are a lot of reasons to write for us; you're bored, you think you can do our jobs better than us, you're chaffing from masturbating and you need a break. Or maybe, and probably the most important, you have something to contribute to the internet and think others need to read it. Well you can help write posts for us and get some exposure for yourself. Maybe you could end up making money in the long run, who knows, the sky is the limit. The limit is actually closer to the second floor of an apartment building, but you'll be able to reach thousands of readers who may or may not hate you as a person because of your writing. If you're interested go here, fill out the form and we'll get back to you. It's not like we have anything better to do anyway. Posted by Atkins under Random
And now nothing will ever get done again since the president discovered Reddit.
Yesterday was a great leap for everybody on the internet when President Barack Obama sat down to do an AMA on Reddit. For those of you who don't use Reddit, AMA stands for "Ask Me Anything," a post where any user can ask the person hosting anything they want. After his appearance immediately broke Reddit, he was able to answer some questions in his 30 minutes with everybody. Unfortunately he didn't answer any of the myriad of questions pertaining to the legalization of marijuana, but he did answer 10 others. If you want to see what those were exactly, go here. One of my favorite exchanges of the entire thing was when somebody decided it was their responsibility to correct Obama's grammar, because after all, this is the internet. Obama answered a question about the future of the space program and part of his reply detailed that the administration is "focused on a potential mission to a asteroid as a prelude to a manned Mars flight." That led to the response "An asteroid, Mr. President," which was followed up by "Don't correct the president, neckbeard." Even in the presence of the president, I'm glad that the true nature of the internet still shines through. TL;DR President Barack Obama did an AMA on Reddit Wednesday, answering key questions that redditors wanted to know. Posted by Atkins under Random
And now I shall guilt trip you with pictures. It's not all tits and dick jokes here at Lost My Way, sometimes we like to help those who are less fortunate. Not everybody gets to sit at a desk and write jokes every day and that makes me sad. More specifically you can help out some seventh graders from Jose De Diego Middle School in Miami, Fla. Jose De Diego is a school that is low-income and the only thing the teacher wants is to provide each student with a notebook. Seriously, that's it. I think that these kids deserve it since I was the type of kid who would flip out if my laptop couldn't stream high definition videos at an acceptable pace. The notebooks will allow the kids to stay more organized and learn as much as possible. The best part about it is that your donations don't go to some off-the-wall charity, they go directly to the teacher who will be supplying the kids the notebooks. I'm also fully aware of the demographics of who visit this site are, so I'm well aware you can afford a small donation without having it make an impact on your next trip to the bar. I had to give up eating today to help them. TL;DR Help kids in a low-income middle school purchase something as simple as notebooks to help them learn more in school. Helping Future Civic Leaders Stay Organized! [DonorsChoose.org] Posted by Atkins under Random
So basically I would be paying $125 for a normal Barbie.
As the world progresses in thinking, everything needs to progress with it. While the country is still in a battle to allow homosexuals to be married anywhere in the country, Mattel feels that some of the attention needs to be drawn in another direction. That's why they are going to create a "Drag Queen Barbie." NYC's design house The Blonds have come up with a design for the Barbie that is modeled after cross-dresser Phillipe Blond. The doll will be out in December and retail online for $125 in the U.S. I'm not one to nitpick, but wouldn't a cross-dressing Barbie actually have a penis? Drag queens aren't the same as transsexuals, so the inclusion of a penis almost seems necessary. Although Ken never had a penis so I'm not sure what to think anymore. But if you're going to create a "Drag Queen Barbie" and not include a penis, you're just confusing the kids. "No hunny, he's just a man dressed up like a woman, he's not actually a woman. Men who become women are called transsexuals, but Mattel on their high horse hasn't made any of those yet." I can't wait to explain these things to my kids one day. I'll just do what my parents did, load up the internet and let them figure it out for themselves. There's now way that could go wrong. TL;DR Mattel is creating a "Drag Queen Barbie" for those who want to mix up their Barbie collection. Mattel Commissions ‘Drag Queen’ Barbie [Design TAXI] Posted by Atkins under Random
Finally, somebody else is taking a stand against hipsters.
I've been saying for a while how I really despise hipsters to my core, but finally somebody else is stepping up and trying to put a stop to their shenanigans. Four Barrel Coffee in San Francisco, Calif. (an area ripe for hipsters anyway), has a back alley coffee window that people can order from. The only problem is that there needs to be some rules to keep the coffee shop from getting into trouble with the neighbors. That includes picking up after yourself, staying on the sidewalk, and keeping your annoying hipster conversations to yourself. I'm all for putting hipsters in their place as they are awful human beings, but as a coffee shop, wouldn't telling hipsters to keep their annoying conversations to themselves be like alienating your main source of customers? I imagine that Four Barrel Coffee's main clientele is purely hipsters, so that's not really who you want to upset. It's not like me making fun of hipsters here at Lost My Way. I can do that for two reasons: 1) I highly doubt hipsters find anything I have to say funny and 2) I make fun of everybody, there are no groups I leave out. Just seems like a bad business decision by Four Barrel Coffee. TL;DR Four Barrel Coffee bans annoying hipster conversations simply because of how awful they are. Four Barrel Bans 'Annoying Hipster' Conversations At Coffee Counter [SFist] Posted by Atkins under Random
Some people count on these things to save them from utter destruction at the hands of evil.
I always thought that you could buy whatever you wanted on eBay, but come August 30 that's all going to change. If you're looking for a potion to help aid you on a quest or a magic spell to turn your mother into the ass that she is, you're going to have to look elsewhere. eBay will be banning the sale of magic spells and potions, as well as, curses, hexing, and conjuring. That means that the guy who said he could curse that douchebag who stole your spot at work when you clearly had a directional on won't be happening any time soon. Why exactly is eBay doing this to its customers? If somebody wants to take money out of their bank account and pay another person for a magic spell who's to tell them they can't? Dungeons and Dragons will never be the same without actual potions, so now people are going to start concocting their own. What good is going to come of that? I don't have a degree in crafting potions and I don't think watching Harry Potter counts as an instructional video. I hope eBay is ready for the lawsuits to roll in when people accidentally burn their houses down trying to create their own magical elixirs. TL;DR eBay bans magic spells and potions from being sold and the internet collectively groans. Alas! eBay to ban sale of magic spells, potions [Tecca] Posted by Atkins under Random
I have no clue what I'm even looking at.
If you asked me to tell you what a Mola Mola was before today I would have no clue, but they've been turning up in record numbers off the coast of California. Also known as ocean sunfish, it's rare that anybody can get a clear, up-close photo of one of these gentle giants because they normally swim away from divers. While Mola Mola's are docile and appear to be sluggish in nature they're actually very agile and can get away quickly. That's why a photo posted to Facebook by Daniel Botelho became an instant internet sensation, nobody had really seen one of these up close. I'm always fascinated by new animals being found and photographed but what exactly am I looking at here? It looks like I'm staring at a gray pancake with a set of eyes. People can be fascinated by that thing all they want but I don't like fish that aren't three-dimensional. They seem sneaky in general, like they're going to do something fishy if I have my back turned to them. I had thought that stingrays were docile and loved people too until one killed my hero Steve Irwin. Nobody's going to be satisfied until one of these swallows a child. I'm not really sure how they would do that but they're just waiting for their moment. TL;DR Everybody loves Mola Molas now that there's a good picture of one but I don't trust them. Mola Molas Photo Goes Viral, Becomes Oddly Successful Internet Hit [The Inquisitr] Posted by Atkins under Random
This picture is a lie, there's no way you can design a new website with one hand.
If you were wondering why the posts may have seemed a little thin today it's because I was busy creating a new design for the website. I think that it looks a bit more sleek and modern compared to the one that we've been using for the past year and a half. Hopefully things will be a bit easier to read, find and look better in general. Before you email me I know that the search bar is missing from the top and I'm working on adding it in soon. I was having a bit of trouble with it and I thought that I had done enough already today. So now, back to the news.
Posted by Atkins under Random
Being somebody who works in a technical field (software engineering) I get a startup idea from at least one person every week. And every time they have an idea that makes absolutely no sense to me in any way, shape or form. They have no solid business plan, no concept of the time and money it would even take to get their idea started, and when I ask them to explain their idea further to me they confuse the absolute shit out of me. Vooza is a spoof on basically every startup pitch conceived and perfectly shows how most people pitch vague startups.
The absolute best line in the entire video that sums up three quarters of the startup pitches I receive would have to be "to come up with something truly original, you have to ignore common sense." I'm not saying that startup pitches for everything are terrible, but a lot of people don't even bother to think through what they're trying to do before they come to me. And I don't even have any money, they basically need me to do all their work for them while they hope an investor happens to stumble by and trip into this grand idea they have, which is why I tell them no 100 percent of the time.
TL;DR Vooza spoofs startups almost perfectly with their mobile app that nobody is quite sure about.
Posted by Atkins under Videos
Something I probably should have mentioned yesterday is that I'll be on vacation until Wednesday. I'll be updating sporadically depending on when I'm home, but for the most part you'll have to make do until then. I'll try to give you guys some girls or something so you don't shoot up your work, but I make no promises. I need a break every now and then too.
Posted by Atkins under Random
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