I'm glad you're in the gym working out, I really am. There's nothing I hate more in this world than people who complain about rampant obesity in America while stuffing their face with fried lard. That's where my compliments end though as I hate you as a human being because you don't know how to put the weights back after you use them. Now I have to go searching for the 65s because you decided to throw them in all your triumphant glory after using them to bench, you clown.
I might understand if you were just lifting with 120 pound dumbbells and you need to rest before putting them back. You're only embarrassing yourself because the weights you're using aren't heavy enough for that type of action and everybody hates you now. Sure you might think that you're king shit but your world is about to turn upside down when I pick up the weight and fire it off your forehead. There are other people at the gym, there's no harm in acknowledging that they would like to use the weights sometimes too and don't want to travel through Narnia to find them.
Now I'm going to have to give you an ultimatum so you don't do this shit anymore. I'm going to follow you around the gym from now on and every time you don't put a weight back I'm going to drop a 100 pound dumbbell on your foot. I think that pain is the best way for people to learn a lesson and your douchebaggery is on another level, so you need a lot of it. I predict that you will need your feet amputated by the end of this, but that's the price you need to pay for not following the rules.
The gentleman doing the kegel exercises
Posted by Atkins under Letters to the Public