Dear woman who leaves her shopping cart in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store,

The hell is the matter with you? How is anybody else supposed to get down the aisle with you basically blocking the whole thing? You're almost as bad as people who don't walk on the right side of the aisle, almost. The sheer audacity of blocking an entire aisle because you don't know how to move your shit to the side is infuriating. Are you the queen of the world? I think not. If you were I would have heard about it, but at the moment the only thing you seem to be the queen of is sucking.

I don't understand it really, what is so hard about moving your shopping cart to the side? It's like you thoroughly believe this is your world and we're just living in it. You're the type of person who will drive in the middle of the road when it's clearly two lanes, simply because you can't make a decision, so everybody should wait while you do. 

There's only one solution to this problem, if I find you in the grocery store again it's going to be my duty to tip over your shopping cart. Everything will spill out and you'll get bent out of shape, but I'll hold my ground that there clearly wasn't enough room for other shoppers. There had to be a savior for everybody else who hates confrontations, and today that savior is me. I'm sorry your stuff is everywhere, but things had to be set right in the world.

Sincerely, 

The guy taking your things out of your shopping cart and throwing them when you're not looking

Posted by Atkins under Letter to the Public